I wore black and met her by the Charter Bank for her Insurance Policy, the way she signed was like a divorce papers to me. Afterwards we headed to Starbucks for a final coffee. There she made up her mind to stay single. I judged that from my last 2 days' observation via the phone conversation. She was calm and never wanted to see me in person, stay aloof...I let her think and she made her choice, in fact we both made our choices.
I came to ask her the reasons, why on earth? Why all of a sudden? Why on the last day of 2009? Why have to be on the same month after I lost my job? It has to be a bad timing, a very fucking bad timing indeed for me....I never stay happy throughout this month..I feel desperate, and helpless....and there another great thing happened comes around...she loses interest and refused to resume....very indeed meaningful...to me as a leaping development.
Am I not doing enough? I keep asking myself...maybe I am stupid, in fact I think I am...once again, I have a string sense of feeling stupid and rejected....very very nice indeed...and Should accept this failure...or what are my choices anyway?
I swallowed them all, at the cost of ripping my heart apart....
More negative dismays are waiting for me to catch up...
And I am the only one, alone in the Dark again....
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